Field Notes from Real Life: Week 1
A week into this challenge I have been most surprised that the initial feeling was one of relief. I expected to struggle for a day or two at least. And I really thought there would be more FOMO. But I haven’t felt like I was missing out on very much. I have missed keeping up with my daughter’s Instagram which is so fun to watch, but she also has long form articles on Substack (You can find her at: Kirstenhorton) so I’m reading those instead. I’m also getting a lot of my news from contributors to Substack but I still have to be careful to know what I’m going to read when I open the app because there are is also a good deal of short form content.
Tuesday: I worked all day so the tempting times were really lunch and after work when I was tired and willpower was low. That was when I felt I most wanted a dopamine hit. If I hadn’t been doing this little experiment there were definitely a couple of hours there I would have spent scrolling. Instead I read actual news articles at lunch instead of scrolling past headlines and indulging in snarky memes about current events. After work I read a book when I normally would have grabbed my phone.
Wednesday: I was off work and returned to my workout schedule. I started Monday. I was so active in spring I considered the hives and garden my workout but those activities have slowed the past few weeks and I didn’t return to my regular routine. Something I might have noticed sooner if spare moments weren’t spent on S.M. We went to a doctor’s appointment and I read a physical book while every other person was on their phone. I felt like a weirdo in a superior sort of way.
Thursday: Worked half a day in the morning. Went to the library and grocery. When I came home I read some but the TV came on around 5:00 and I finished a series and caught up on the news, then watched a few of my favorite YouTube channels.
Friday: I weeded two entire garden beds that had gotten out of hand due to all the rain we’ve had. Then I Facetimed with a friend for an hour or so before lunch and headed off to work for the afternoon. Before bed I realized I had made a plan with a friend last week to have coffee Saturday morning and I didn’t have her number. We had only been using FB Messenger to communicate. You have to go through FB to get to it. (insert suspenseful music) I held my hand over the phone so as not to see whatever post appeared but could not avoid noticing the number of notifications at the top of the page. I exercised some willpower however, sent her a message to make sure we were still on, put the phone down, and went to bed feeling proud of myself but also curious about what all the notifications had been.
Saturday: I met up with my friend who had contacted me because of the challenge. We spent a couple of hours catching up over coffee without checking phones and it was lovely. Then I headed to a bookstore to have lunch with my son. Shopped for books and browsed and talked. Again, no phones, just conversation. I came home and took a nap and when I woke up the phone was somehow very tempting. By far the weakest moment so far. That would definitely have been a wasted 45 minutes usually but instead I grabbed my book and read for an hour.
Sunday: We watched a sermon online. I finished another book. I wrote some and we went to the grocery. I took a power nap. Felt bored.
Monday: Checked on my beehives and cleaned the house. Organized my desk. Did a workout. Wrote a lot. Spent time thinking about what to write and strung ideas together for a new project.
What I learned from the first week:
I think the biggest thing I noticed this week is how calm and relaxed I felt. Much of what we’re seeing online is created to feed our anger over certain topics. I’d actually be embarrassed to tell you how much time I’ve spent arguing with strangers online over the past 6 years. I mean how can Western Civilization survive if I don’t respond to Topekacheese6172 about his stupid comment under the post of Aliensamongus1984? I’m on here thinking I’m saving the world when in reality I’m only keeping my sympathetic nervous system (responsible for fight or flight) keyed up and not allowing my parasympathetic nervous system to restore balance and peace.
What are we even doing to ourselves?
The areas of life I found most difficult without anything entertaining on my phone to look at were the in between moments. Not enough time to start a chapter of a book but also enough time to be awkwardly empty. Somewhere along the way modern life came to mean busy. The line at the grocery or the drive through for instance. The answer is really just look around. At people, the sky, the inside of my car. The drive through is enough time to collect any trash and sort through things that have been left there. The car is probably in this state because looking at a clean screen diverts us from the mess around us. A connection I made sitting at my desk this week.
The phone pick up thing, for me anyway, seemed to be an escape from the messy and the difficult. I don’t want to do my workout so I’ll look up what the best workouts are. I’ll watch cleaning hacks instead of just getting up and cleaning the space around me. Any uncomfortable feeling or painful moment can just disappear by picking up my phone and seeing what another beekeeper or gardener are doing or get design ideas or suggestions for an outfit.
Hello, Comparison-Thief of Joy! Social media is grand for this. Were you feeling good about your house? Here’s staged perfection to ruin your day. Did you think your outfit was cute? Well, it’s in the Top 10 Things That Make You Look Old.
Who do we think we are anyway, trying to have a nice day and feel good about ourselves?
While TV isn’t part of this challenge With all this extra time on my hands I noticed how much I watch. Not more than usual but the usual seemed like a lot to me this week.
One thing that helped me a lot is the suggestion I saw somewhere to use a stack of notecards and keep them wherever you keep your phone. They are roughly the same size. I was shocked how often I reached for my phone for no reason. Not to check the weather or email, just as a reflex. And once it was in my hand how often my fingers went to the spot where social media used to be. At those moments I felt like my being was more a slave to big tech that I cared to admit. It was handy to have the notecards to jot down thoughts when that happened.
Check back next week where we’ll be looking at the actual screen time numbers!
What is your biggest screen time challenge?